IN BETWEEN SELFISH AND SELFLESS

When did it become socially acceptable to put others before yourself?  If you pick up a book, altruistic and selfless are traits of characters to be admired.  But, why? What purpose does selflessness really serve if everyone is thinking about everyone else but themselves?

It’s the exact opposite of the culture we live in today that says, “in order to get this job you must have these qualifications.” Well what if you looked at yourself that way. How can you serve others if you haven’t learned to serve yourself? How can you comfort someone else if you don’t know how to comfort yourself? In other words, you aren’t qualified to do the job you’ve taken on.

 

Now I know there’s a chance you might’ve just let out a huff, but I bet the reason you’re here is because you’re halfway intrigued by the idea of not having to live up to what anyone else thinks you should do. Most here will say, “I’m not trying to live up to anyone else’s expectations,” and that’s a fair response. You chose where to work, where you’re living, who you talk to, what you eat, what you wear, so what the hell am I talking about?

I’m talking about those things you think that you probably tell few people or no one at all. Those nagging thoughts in your head that tells you to not say that, or not do that, or makes you second guess what everyone else is thinking about that thing you just said or did. If you answered no, kudos to you. But if you answered yes, you’re probably a selfless person.

Selfless people derive their worth from what others think of them, because how could you not when others are who you serve? It causes you to lie just to save face with people, because the fear is no one would around if you were your true self, because your true self is socially unacceptable. And because of that, every time your true self wants to come out, we’ve just learned to suppress or fake our way to social acceptance.

By Nidhi Chanani

You start to imitate or resent others who seem to have it so easy. Who seem to just do whatever they want, reap all the benefits, and everyone likes them. They aren’t selfish. They’re just aware of their own needs. If they’re uncompromising in mostly everything, then yes, they are selfish, but those who are the best at self-care are not.